Traditions.

I have a long-standing New Year's Eve tradition. Every year on NYE, I write. About the last year... About what it's been, what's happened and what it's meant. And since we're having friends over this year, I'm writing earlier in the evening than usual. I think the tradition started out of sheer need to keep myself awake for the two hours between bedtime (10pm) and the new year. And I've stuck to it ever since. So this year, even though it's only 7pm, I'm taking a few minutes to reflect.

I can't believe what a year it's been! I started doing sales for my family, traveled to sales meetings, took the youth from our church on a number of activities and outings, asked for and was given in-discernment status with my church and association, competed for a second year with my chorus, squeezed in a few quick trips to see friends, began a new relationship, joined the Spiritual Growth mission group and church Cabinet... I can't even count all the things I did!

But perhaps the most important thing I did this year was start school. In January, I finally started my undergrad. Settling back into the swing of school proved more difficult than I had originally thought. And taking classes online proved a challenge greater than I had expected. But I got through my first few online classes at Front Range. In the fall, I transferred to Aims and decided to give traditional classes a chance. I discovered that I'm really much, much better at those! I'm enjoying classes and excited to move on to another great semester.

Every year, in the beginning of the year, I pick a word or phrase that I choose to focus on through the year. This year, my phrase was "In everything: Grace, Mercy and Love." More than once, I was faced with situations where I had to choose grace, mercy and love. And although I failed often, I feel like I'm coming out on this end of the year with a greater understanding of how I can treat those around me with grace, mercy and love.

I can't believe the new friends I've made this year, too! There are so many of you that I can't even begin to name you each. I know I'll forget some! Your new friendships (and the friendships of your spouses and families) have been gigantic blessings this year! It has really been a year of new beginnings, and each of you is part of that.

And finally, this year has been especially important in my faith journey. So many of the friends I've met have blessed me with new perspectives and understandings of a God that is greater than we are. The faith of my friends (Christian and non-Christian alike) astounds me every single day. I have taken communion in a room where ages spanned more than 100 years and learned more from the children I get to see each week than I can fathom teaching them. I have continued to learn to "Be Still" (and even got a tattoo to remind myself!) in some of  my most frustrating moments and have found tools that help me to re-focus and center myself when I need to. I'm nowhere near where I hope I'll one day be, but 2013 sure has been an incredible year of growth for my faith.

So as I look forward to the new year that comes in just a few hours, I can only hope that the opportunities I've had, the friendships I've made and the transformations in my life over the past year will carry forward into 2014.

To 2014. Cheers! 

I'm Thankful. Now what?

Happy Thanksgiving! I know the story of the pilgrims and the Native Americans that is the "origination" of Thanksgiving, but I can't quite figure out how it's turned into one day a year where we eat a gigantic meal, sit around and list off the things we're thankful for and watch some football. I somehow think that the whole concept of "the first Thanksgiving" got a little warped and twisted in there.

I hear that Rev. Ben gave an awesome sermon on Sunday (which I didn't hear, since I was teaching) about what we do with our thankfulness. I can't tell you what all he said, since I wasn't there, but I'm going to venture out on a limb and say that he likely pushed people to do more than give thanks.

Giving thanks isn't enough. You can be thankful, but it's what you do with your thanks that matters. Thankfulness is an attitude, but for attitudes to mean much, there must also be an application. So what do you do or how do you act, because you're thankful. Really, there are only four things I need to list that covers them all...

1. My family. We may not always get along, but they love me, unconditionally. The love they have taught me is the love I bring to the table with others.
2. My friends. They are my rocks, my strength and my sanity. They push me to be a better person every single day. Because they keep me going, I can healthily and happily serve others.
3. My job. I love what I do. I get to work with the most awesome stylists, salon owners, receptionists and students in the world. And I couldn't ask for a better team of coworkers (who are also my friends). Every day, we get to help people feel great about the way they look while putting food on our tables. I live for the moments where I get to see a smile on the face of someone who feels just a little more confident.
4. My faith community. I seriously have the most incredible faith community surrounding me. It's not just the community within my local church, but also the extended community - other clergy, lay leaders, scholars and seminary students I've met along the way. They continue to challenge me, push me, support me and encourage me through my faith journey. Because of them, I am made a better, more thoughtful and more compassionate person every single day. The faith that they continue to feed is the faith that continues to feed my ministry and my call. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Bless you and may you be a blessing. 

I Wonder

My goodness! There are so many things I’ve wanted to write about, but life is so busy that it seems like there’s no time to write about any of them!

Today was Bible Sunday at our church. Each year, we give our preschoolers and 3^rd graders new Bibles. This year, we gave all of our younger kids (infants-preschool) a Bible, all of our Preschoolers and Kindergarteners a Bible, all of our 3^rd graders a Bible and all of the kids who hadn’t already received a Bible their age-appropriate Bibles. We gave out all kinds of Bibles today!

Ben had asked me help hand them out to each child, one by one. How cool it was to present some of our kids with their very first Bible! And it was SO incredible to see their reactions and excitement for their new book!

When I interviewed with our church Cabinet for in-discernment status, I was asked one theological question: “How do you view the Bible?” This morning, as I taught the Bible Sunday lesson to my preschoolers and kindergarteners, I thought that the lesson summed it up quite nicely. I adapted the original story for my kids and am adapting it even more for the blog. But loosely, it goes something like this:

“The Bible is a gift from God! It is full of the stories of God and the stories of the people of God! It was written for us by the people of God to help us understand the best ways to love God and the best ways to love others. The Bible can serve as a history book, telling about what others have done or as a roadmap, showing us what ways we should choose. But the stories of the people of God are a sacred (set apart) gift from God. They are ours. No one can take them from us. Our Bibles help us to tell the stories of God, but the stories also live in our hearts.”

At the end of all of our lessons, we ask the “I Wonder” questions. Today, it was “I wonder what your favorite Bible story is?” My kids’ answers? Jonah and the Whale, Advent, Creation, The Parable of the Good Samaritan…

It’s so cool to have to ask our kids to put away their Bibles for a few minutes during the story time. And incredibly humbling to watch them choose reading stories in their new Bibles as one of their activities during response time.

If I were teaching this lesson to adults, my last question would be “I wonder when we stopped getting so excited to read the stories of God?”

The Holy Spirit's Movin, Y'All!

Hi, Blogworld! I missed you! It's been a little crazy lately (like it ever hasn't been; that's a total excuse). Tonight's blog might verge on the edge of repetitive to something I've already said, but there's a giant spider in my room that disappeared a few minutes ago and I haven't found it again, so I'm not willing to spend the time or reading power to look and be sure it isn't.

I need to preface this post with a little background so it all makes sense for you. I have always been a big believer that people will start searching for God or for a church when they're ready for and open to it. And that until they're ready for and open to it, even if they go or you share, it probably won't end in an incredible experience.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at a barbecue and a family member remarked to her sister that they really needed to get to church and that they should go to my church because there were lots of kids there. I don't remember the specifics of the conversation, but it ended abruptly when I said that I was sure her sister knew where I went to church and that they were always welcome and that if she had any other questions about it, she knew where to find me, but shoving it toward them wasn't necessary.

Well guess what? Tonight, the sister called me and asked if she could drop the kids off for church tomorrow. And then she thanked me for standing up and saying that they would ask if and when they were ready.

Going to a new church or exploring the whole God thing can be scary if you've never been or haven't been in a while. Hell, it's scary even if you have. I remember searching for a new church after leaving the one I grew up in! Scary stuff! It takes some time just to get used to the idea of it, even before you act. And someone saying "you should..." isn't helpful. Not in my mind, anyways. "Hey, I want you to know that if and when you're ready to explore the possibility, I'd love to share my church with you" is less threatening and quite honestly, more inviting to me.

It's one of those trusting God issues. Sometimes, you just have to trust that the Holy Spirit will move within people to grant them the courage it takes to pick up the phone and ask or walk through a door. Or to seek out whatever they're searching for. Our job isn't to push or compel or motivate. Our job is to be there to welcome people in whom the Holy Spirit has moved.

Conversations Of God with Teens

I get to spend the next few days with a pretty awesome 16-year-old kid. I've known him for a long time and even though he sometimes has his moments, I love him dearly. Tonight, he asked what he would have to wear to church on Sunday morning when he goes with me. And then our conversation took an interesting turn.

I asked how often C goes to church and if he likes it. He likes church, so I asked what his favorite part of going to church was. Somehow (don't remember exactly how we got there) we started talking about wearing hats in church. He asked if it was wrong to wear a hat in church. I don't know about you, but I really don't think God cares what we wear to church. I told him that some might find it disrespectful to wear it, but that if he wanted to wear a hat to church, it would be okay with me. I didn't think God was going to be upset about it.

And then came the issue of cussing. Anyone who has been around me for any length of time knows that I have a mouth. Sometimes I try to hold my tongue more than other times, but I have a mouth. Here was C's explanation of the issue: someone somewhere along the way told me I can''t believe in God and cuss, but I do both.

Oh, dear child.... Here's the way I see it: We're humans. Language is required to communicate. And sometimes, we have to communicate strong, harsh and unpleasant things. So long as you're not using harsh and unpleasant language towards or about another person in a manner that is hurtful or disrespectful, sometimes, you just have to use it. Please don't get tripped up over this... I don't think it's a topic worth making a fuss over. BUT. On the other hand, your parents have rules regarding your language and I do expect that you follow them. And I will hold you to them. So don't think that you can go around saying whatever you want. You can't. But don't think that God's going to smite you if you say you've had a shitty day.

This is the thing that bothers me so often... Some people get so wrapped up in the things they think God sees as wrong that we forget to show people the awesome, cool and wonderful things about God. Like grace, mercy and love! And so what if we cuss? Doesn't mean God loves us any less! Doesn't mean we can't believe in God!

We talked a little more and C seemed upset that nobody else in his youth group ever seems to doubt God. That breaks my heart... In my eyes, part of being a spiritual leader means inviting people to wonder about God, doubt God and question God... In my faith journey, those points were the points where my understanding of God grew most deeply and profoundly. And because I have been allowed to wonder and doubt and question, I know in my heart of hearts that God is there. And always has been and always will be. But I had to find that conclusion for myself. Just like C will have to find that for himself.

It is not our job to spoon-feed our kids their faith. It is our job to live our faith, to demonstrate our faith, to be real and practical about our faith and it's application in our daily lives. To allow our kids to explore and question and to accompany them on that journey. That way, it's personal. It's real. Faith actually means something.

There's A Theme to Vacation

For those who don't know the story of how my brother came to our family, here is the abridged version: My senior year, there was a Chinese foreign exchange student who had multiple host homes fall through and nowhere to live. I'd never met him, but felt bad for the kid, so I went home after rehearsal one night and asked if we could give the kid a place to stay for a couple of nights. In a matter of an hour, we had decided not only to let him stay, but to let him stay for the entire year. We knew nothing about him, other than the fact that he was a junior and played the violin. It was a Thursday night. We didn't have a bedroom for him. That weekend, we made a bedroom. Sunday night the exchange coordinator brought him to meet us and Monday they literally dropped him off on our doorstep. Most kids bring home dogs and ask to keep them. I brought home a Chinese kid.

By the end of the year, Kevin was part of our family. He had a sister and American parents and we had a Chinese brother & son. I'm not too macho to admit that I started crying when we pulled out of the driveway the day he flew home. Fast forward two years and we flew out to Sate College, PA to get him set up for college at Penn State. He came home for Christmas or Thanksgiving every year. And two years ago, his mom came home with him for Christmas.

This weekend (time flies), Kevin graduated from Penn State. It seemed only appropriate that we were there for graduation - after all, he's the brother/son. So we came. His Chinese parents were there, too. It was great to see mom again and great to finally meet dad.

When we got here Thursday, Kevin took us around campus and showed us some of his favorite places, then took us to the Nittany Lion Inn for dinner. The Nittany Lion Inn is a beautiful, historic hotel & restaurant on the oldest part of campus. The architecture of the building has been well-preserved and is absolutely beautiful. The menu is full of classics - all with a modern twist. Dinner was absolutely divine.

Yesterday was a very busy day. We started with breakfast at The Waffle Shop, a family-owned place with a great breakfast r. I'm told I missed out on the best omlettes, but it's called The Waffle Shop! I ordered waffles! After, we walked around campus and took family photos of Kevin in his "robe and crown." That's where Kevin's mom, Ling, really cracked me up. She insisted on lots of photos with her and I and nobody else. Yep. I have a Chinese mom.

Lunch reservations were at a little modern cafe called Zola. The burger dad ordered was bigger than his head. My crab cake was incredible and both moms had a chicken panini that had carmelized onion and Gouda cheese. Delish. After a short nap, we went to graduation! There were 1100+ students graduating from the engineering school, but I was impressed with how efficiently and quickly the ceremony ran. Never have I been more proud of anyone than I was of my brother as he walked across that stage last night.

After, we went out to a traditional Chinese dinner (at midnight, mind you). Are you starting to see a theme to this vacation? Yeah. Me too. Good thing we did so much walking and calorie burning yesterday.

We said goodbye to our boy last night, knowing that he will likely be home this summer. But we probably won't see long and Yi (the Chinese parents) for a long time again. And that makes me sad. Because, you know, family isn't always blood. Sometimes, family are the people you trust and love and help through anything, no matter what. Kevin is my family. And because Kevin is my family, Ling and Yi are also my family. I'm proud to say that I have parents in two different continents, two different cultures and two different families. Because you can never have enough family.

What Was I Thinking?!

I went out to the brewery last night with several friends and after I had a couple in me, everyone started talking about triathlons and sprint triathlons  Let's start by saying that I am absolutely not an athlete... The girls were talking about fun sprint triathlons and pretty soon we had all made a pact to do Tri For the Cure in August. Wait... WHAT?! Did I seriously just agree to participate in a triathlon?! Oh, boy. These girls are relentless, too. There is absolutely no getting out of it. I love them all dearly - they are great friends - but I will be held to it.

I will admit that I'm really, really glad to have Cindy to help me figure out how to train for this thing. She's a triathlete. For Pete's sake... She's done an Ironman. Me, on the other hand? I am the most awkward-looking runner there ever was, I have terrible knees and I don't know how to swim. I'm not worried about the 11 mile bike ride. But doing an open water swim? Nightmare. Learning how to run and run endurance? My knees and hips hurt thinking about it.

I was on the Tri For a Cure website (because what else was I going to do when I woke up at 2:30am?) and you can register as a relay team, which would mean I could bike and run, but could find someone who actually liked to and was good at swimming to do the swim. A part of me wants to do it to prove to myself that I can, but a bigger part of me is terrified of swimming and always has been and knows that I cannot swim... Let's be  honest. "Swimming," in my world, means short-term doggie paddling until I get back to the end of the pool where I can touch.

It's 4:15 am, I'm wide awake and I've been finding couch-to-5k training programs online and summer 5k's that are close to home. I figure if a triathlon is a 1/2 mile swim, 11 mile run and 5k walk, a 5k and some time at the gym on a bike (until I get my bike fixed) are probably good starting places. I also figure I should never have a few beers and talk exercise ever again. Ever.

Just Questions

A funny thing... My English book has been discussing the importance of a really good question. Tonight, I'm full of them. I've spent yesterday and today in a conference that's been put on by the Rocky Mountain Region of the United Church of Christ, called Congregations Alive. I went into the conference expecting to learn a lot of best practices, gain some new ideas for spiritual growth and leadership and meet a lot of people I've never had an opportunity to meet. What I've gotten are a whole lot of questions. And not the "how do we run our Sunday School" kind of questions. No. These are the "what is my purpose on this earth" questions, that have answers so complicated and different for each person that I may never figure them out.

A highlight of some of the things I've written down:

• Are the youth of this generation less sensitive to sacred or sensitive subject matters than the generations before them?
• One of the presenters suggested that our youth need to behave first, belong second and then believe. For this to work, it requires us to place community before theology. Do I agree that this is right or necessary or accurate? Why or why not?
• A keynote speaker this morning said "Change can happen when people believe it can happen and if they believe the effort is worth it." Are the changes we've talked about making worth it? Do we believe they can happen?
• How do we, as a faith community, encounter those who aren't part of our faith community in a way that they trust the story we want to share with them? CAN we encounter those who aren't a part of our faith community and help them trust the story we want to share with them?
• Are we using the right language for Spiritual Growth, Faith Formation, Christian Education... Does the language we're using reflect our values and model?
• Is it easier to love one another inside of a congregation? Why or why not?
• What is our church's love language?

I've done three workshops so far, with a fourth on the schedule for tomorrow. Yesterday, I started with Becoming A Youth Whisperer. We discussed the "dominant breeds" of teenagers and how we can find and address their needs, instead of trying to "fix" their dominances (the dramatic, the comedian, the victim, etc), among other things. In ConnectMORE, we talked about how the church continually responds to our changing culture. This morning's keynote, Marian Plant, used the image of a desert flooding after a drought to talk about how we create water flowing from our chancels, down our aisles and out the cracks beneath the doors into our communities. In Faith Formation, Christian Education or Other, we discussed how the use of language in the church affects what people expect and how they perceive faith formation/spiritual formation/Christian Education. In Reaching Those Disabilites: Both Cognitive and Physical, we discussed what we can do to be more inclusive of those who are differently-abled. 

Now do you see why I'm so overloaded? My mind is going a billion miles an hour. There is just SO much to process. I think this could take weeks... I'm also going to make a to-do list of things that I think we could benefit from doing or discussing as a church. Gah. So. Much. Information. 

I'm Leaving (Not) On A Jetplane!

And so it goes... Tomorrow I leave for my five-day break from the norm. Can I call it vacation? Probably not. Do I get to see a bunch of friends and learn a bunch of cool stuff about programs, leadership and resources within the church? Absolutely. Am I super duper excited about that? You bet. Will it be good to get away from here for a while? You know it will be. But getting to this point and getting ready to go has been super, super stressful.

I'm behind where I wanted to be on school (because I thought I could get everything but replies done for this week) before I left. I'm not behind, behind. I'll just have to work on school every night while I'm there... Unless I plan to stay up another five or six hours, which I don't plan to do. Although when I went in to do my math tonight, I was relieved that we've moved on to much easier stuff that makes tons more sense to me. I was having a hard time focusing on Sunday night and I'm kicking myself for it tonight. I finally have everything packed except the sweater that hang dries... Remind me again why I buy so many sweaters, since they all hang or flat dry?! And I needed to find and buy a brown shirt tonight. Let me tell you... Don't bother. They don't make brown shirts in the spring. You'll never find one.

Oh... And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with something. Joy.

I'm so exhausted and so ready to have dinner with Bubba and Jeremy tomorrow night and then get out of here. It will be good to see Jer and his family this weekend, to spend time with Jenn, to get to know some of our church members better and to celebrate Joe and Inez' wedding on Saturday. But mostly it will be good to sleep. To get away from work and Greeley and all of it and just have a good time. That's what I'm most excited about. And to think... I come back on Sunday and do it all over again to go to sales meeting next weekend. That will be SO. MUCH. FUN.

NOT.

And anyone who knows me well knows how I love my shoes... I'm only taking two pair.