Favorites

I have a lot of favorite days in the week. I realized that when I started to write this blog.

Sunday is my favorite day because it means lots of church stuffs going on! I get to start the day with my awesome, rockin' class of preschoolers and kindergarteners and explore the strange and mysterious ways that God communicates with us. And then in the evening, I get to gather with a group of my peers and deconstruct/reconstruct Biblical stories and truths in their historical contexts. Monday is my favorite day because it's chorus night. I get to see my girls, we get to sing... What else could I need?! Thursday! Thursday is my favorite day because it generally ends in coffee with Dillon. Coffee with Dillon is a standing appointment on my calendar and it's "The Ultimate Reset" for the middle of my week. Friday is my favorite day of the week because it is generally the one night of the week I have no papers or projects due (which is ironic, because tomorrow I have the first Friday assignment I've had due all semester) and the plans that I have are of my own choosing. Saturday is my favorite day of the week because it's typically the day that's calm and without a zillion things on the schedule. It usually holds one scheduled event - studying. Not saying I couldn't live without spending all my Saturdays studying, but it's nice to not be running like a chicken with my head cut off all day. =]

Hmm... I guess Tuesday and Wednesday are low points. Wow.

I don't even remember what I was really going to write about now. I got off on a rant (imagine that). Oh, well.. I guess I'll write about... Oh, wait. I remember.

Christmas. Christmas pageants. Church Christmas pageants. Church Christmas pageants and little kids. I know, it's April. But my mind is there tonight. We can blame coffee with Dillon for that one.

Last year, we pulled together an INCREDIBLY CUTE Christmas pageant at the church. Like, if your heart didn't melt, you just didn't have a heart, cute. This year, I think we should do something different. Change it up. Not the same thing twice. That's just not as fun. So Dillon and I were talking about different concepts of the Christmas pageant. I won't let the cat out of the bag just yet, but I've spent the last couple of hours on YouTube listening to some really fun, really cool and really precious Christmas music. And the concept of using some of this really awesome music for an adorable Christmas pageant with the kids is starting to come together in my head and I'm just a little bit wound up about it!

What that had to do with the favorites I started with, I'm not really sure, other than we started talking about it at Coffee with Dillon. Maybe I've had a little too much coffee a little too late? Yes. Maybe. Probably. Oooh, look! Shiny!

Also, if you haven't seen this yet, check it out! I love P!nk, but this makes me love her more! <3

♫ Bring Your Peace Into Our Violence... ♫

Fourteen years ago today, I experienced the first tragic act of violence I can remember. I was nine years old and at school. I remember the office people coming through the school and closing and locking all of the doors in the building. It was a little out of the ordinary for our school, but nobody thought much about it. And then we got home that afternoon. We sat - Nick, Carley, Ashley, Josh, Kelsey and I - glued to the television, watching the news and listening to the unfolding reports of all that had happened at Columbine High School earlier in the day. It was the first time Shonna ever turned off what we were watching and actually MADE us play video games. We were all so shocked by it, we didn't play Sonic, like we usually did. We played Kirby. I remember wondering how that could ever  happen, how it could happen so close to home and why someone would be so angry or upset that they thought it necessary to take the lives of innocent people. To that point in my life, violence only existed where conflict existed.

Fourteen years later, trying to process all the unspeakable and senseless violence from the week, I still wonder many of the same things. How can this happen? How can this happen so close to home?  What motivates anger or hatred so strong that it becomes necessary to take the lives of others? I don't understand. I will never understand.

There's a Chris Rice song - normally a Christmas song - that has a couple of lines that have come to mind again and again this week. It's called Welcome To Our World... "Tears are falling, hearts are breaking.  How we need to hear from God..." and later "Bring your peace into our violence, bid our hungry souls be filled..." Isn't it funny how in the face of some of the most horrific violence, I often experience the deepest sense of peace?

Maybe that peace lies within the reminder that I am blessed to live in a nation where this sort of violence is not an everyday occurance. Maybe it lies within the hope that is renewed in watching communities come together to overcome it. Maybe my peace lies within  the refusal to believe that people are anything but inherently good. And maybe that peace lies within knowing that this time, it wasn't me and it wasn't my loved ones. Wherever that overwhelming peace comes from, I am incredibly thankful for it.

My prayers have been the same, all week long. After every act of violence and every tragic accident this week, I pray that somewhere, in the midst of the chaos and violence, we can find an inner peace. And I pray that we can respond to those who have fallen victim to these senseless tragedies, but also the perpetrators behind the tragedies from the smallest sliver of peace we can find within ourselves. I don't believe that we can respond to hate from a place of anger or hate. Really, then, what have we accomplished? It will only be perpetuated... But to respond from a sense of peace, saying "you will not take away our security..." That, my friends, is what wins.

Dun dun dunnnnn!!!!! The Interview.

I fell off the face of the blogging earth again after what I now generally refer to as "the incident." Oops. Trying to rectify that tonight, since I'm house-sitting and not as distracted. =]

Several have asked if I ever received a response to the letter that I posted in my last blog. No, I have not. I didn't really expect that I would, honestly, but a bigger part of me than I realized was hoping that I would hear back. I sent it more for my healing and peace than I did for a response, but I hope that something I said may have at least made him think a little bit. I hope.

Last week, I got increasingly nervous for my interview with the church Cabinet for In-Discernment status*. Yesterday morning, I was an absolute nervous wreck. And the fact that I was nervous kept making me more nervous, especially since I don't generally get nervous! It was great to visit with Ben for a few minutes... Helped me relax some. A very sweet text from Michelle (who is the Moderator and was one of the interviewers) and a Facebook conversation with Lorin finally got me calmed down. I spent quite a bit of time praying, drinking hot chocolate and working on school (a productive distraction tactic, I might add) to keep myself from thinking about it non-stop.

It was also my turn for the devotional and prayer at the Cabinet meeting, so I shared the story of Jesus Calling the 12 Disciples that we use with the PreK-K kids. That was pretty calming, as well, actually. Hooray for comfort zones!

Then it was time. Time for my interview.

It was actually pretty easy. Much easier than I had expected. The time I spent worrying and being nervous was so not worth it. (Is it ever really worth it?) We started with describing myself and my background. We moved on to the events in my life that helped lead to me realizing my call to ministry, what kind of ministry I envisioned having, and why I envisioned ministry specifically within the United Church of Christ. The next question was probably the hardest for me. They asked what I though could be the biggest challenges for me on this journey. After that, they asked how I saw the congregation supporting me through this whole process and then ended with the only theological question they asked me: how do you view the Bible?

(Again, clearly tired and distracted... I just posted without writing the end or adding my meme. Here we go: attempt 2.)

That was it. That was the entire interview. Then I left and they got vote on me. Michelle called me a little while later to let me know that the Cabinet had voted unanimously to move me along in the process. Next, Rev. Nate will write a letter to the Association's Committee on Church & Ministry that will accompany the Cabinet's recommendation. They will do both a written and verbal interview before approving (hopefully) or denying me (and crushing my dreams) for In-Discernment status.

*If you have no clue what In-Discernment Status is, it's a covenantal relationship between a student intending to go into ministry, a local church and the UCC association. It's primary purpose is to support the process of "figuring out" your call and help to evaluate your fitness for ministry and can start as soon as a call is known and lasts through ordination. There's more to it, but there's the Cliff's Notes. Now you can pass the test. ;-)

I needed humor like this yesterday...