This One Time, During the Super Bowl Commercials

This one time, during the Super Bowl commercials, a radically forward-thinking company advertised their product using a diverse group of peoples who actually represented their consumer base. There were different languages, genders, races, nationalities, sexualities and ages. Each of the people in the advertisement was depicted loving life and a few of them had the product in their hands. 

Originally created as a headache medicine containing cocaine, this nectar of the gods was soon stripped of the stuff that made it green (namely, cocaine) and filled with aritfical colors and sweetners that made it's carbonated tooth-rotting powers delicious and appealing to many! 

Fast forward 100ish years and some dim-witted marketing department came up with what they thought to be a brilliant idea. With 30-second Super Bowl advertising slots costing upwards of $4 Million, the company affectionatly known as Coke decided to spend an entire MINUTE depicting satisfied consumers enjoying their product. Out with the sex-appeal! Out with the hasty generalizations! Out with the literary devices! 

And so, my friends, this 1-minute advertisement for Coca Cola was born. (http://youtu.be/A8iM73E6JP8)

And now, a whole bunch of conservative whitey tighties are in a wad (because, let's face it, if conservatives were a type of underwear, they'd be whitey tighties or granny panties - I researched it). They accuse you of BLASPHEMY against America the Beautiful!

How dare they sing it in languages other than English! English is the only language ever to be spoken on this soil! How dare they depict inter-racial or bi-racial families! There is no way that would ever happen here! There are yarmukles and hijabs and cowboy hats... But Christianity is the only religion allowed in this Nation! And that sweet family with two daddies at the end... THAT scarred me so deeply that the unfertilized eggs of my ovaries wept. 

Come on, people. Pick your wedgie already. It was a patriotic song and refreshingly un-sexualized footage of people enjoying life, not blowing each others' heads off and all getting along. It depicted it's consumer base (old, young, white, black, Middle-Eastern, Muslim, Jewish, gay, straight, single, coupled...) and was generally uplifiting. But you're sitting here ripping it apart because they showed you the diverse reality of America that you choose to ignore? Pardon my French, (because this is America and we only speak English here) but that's your own damn problem. 

So, Coca Cola... You should have stayed within the safe confines of white, middle-class, Christian, heterosexual males, who are generally depicted in all advertisements. Because now that you acknowledged that other people exist, you're brand is going to be boycotted by One Million Moms. And it's going to crumble to the ground, just like JCPenny. Take it from Ellen, you just can't be successful if you keep advertising with your true consumer base. Nobody wants to see that.

America. The only country in the world where people freak out about skincolor, religious symbols and sexuality in advertising more than the fact that they spent BILLIONS of dollars on a stupid game, while children in our homes were hungry, dirty, and without shelter. 

If we're arguing about this commercial, we're missing the point. We are all different and all unique. But we are still united. United as a nation, sharing our inter-woven and richly complex lives. And it is a beautiful thing. 

The End of an Era.

Six years ago today, my faith as I knew it came to a sudden, unwelcome, and crumbling hault. I was sitting at Qdoba with my then youth-pastor and in the middle of my perfectly delicious burrito (and before I even got to my cookie), one of my worst fears came to fruition.

I was being outed to my church. 

It wasn't a decision that I got to make, it wasn't a situation that I had any control in. I was called out, blindsided and totally powerless in revealing one of my deepest and most personal struggles to the group of people I feared sharing it with most. When the conversation ended, I thought we had agreed to carry forward in confidence and not share this piece of information with others, but to talk about it amongst the three of us.

The next morning, my phone rang and it was the pastor of my then-church. My heart sank and I knew where the call was headed. We agreed to meet for coffee, where my sexuality was compared to alcoholism and my faithfulness as a Christian was questioned. I was given a packet of articles from Exodus International (an ex-gay "ministry" which has since disbanded and publically apologized for their methods and views), which I agreed to read in it's entirety. The following Sunday, the legs of my faith were ripped off.

I was informed that I would no longer be allowed to sing on the praise team, teach Sunday School, help with Vacation Bible School, lead Bible studies, etc. until I "figured out" and "made right" my sexuality. I wasn't kicked out or asked to leave, but every single reason I had to stay was taken away.

I was formally and officially rejected by the church until I could get my sexuality "right." (My words, not theirs.) I was no longer good enough to actively engage in worship with them. 

There were a lot of things I wasn't sure about and a lot of my faith that I questioned, but I never doubted that God loved me, unconditionally and made no mistaking when She made me gay. I had a very difficult decision to make: to fight against the way I was being treated and knowingly cause division within the church I'd been a part of since the day it opened it's doors, or leave quietly and find a new faith community, where I would be accepted and loved, unconditionally.

It was likely the most difficult decision that I've ever made. The journey of finding a new faith community felt like it would never end, but I finally did. My new community has enriched me, inspired me, challenged me, frustrated me, broken me, and put me back together. But most of all, they have loved me.

Fast forward six years to last Wednesday night. Wednesday, January 22, 2014. A day I will not soon forget. At the annual meeting of our congregation, we voted to adopt an Open & Affirming Covenant. An official covenant where people are named as valuable, perfect and welcomed Children of God, just as they are. 

"We, First Congregational Church of Greeley, United Church of Christ, are an Open and Affirming congregation. We welcome people of every race, national/ethnic origin, language, sexual orientation, gender identitiy, age, family organizaiton, economic status, political belief, ability, faith origin or religious belief.

Our God calls us to create a sacred and safe place where all are loved as Jesus loved. We seek pace and justice for our church family, our community and the world."

Six years ago, I was formally rejected by the chruch I'd grown up in because of my sexuality. Six days ago, I was formally accepted by the church I've chosen as my own, embracing my sexuality.

As the the tally of votes were announced, 121 people in the room of 123 stood up for me, agreeing to love me, accept me, and value me. The overwhelming feeling of closure on formal rejection, the unconditional love I felt, and the validation that God cared about me, too, brought tears to my eyes. And as I wept, I knew that the era of hurt and rejection I'd walked through had officially ended. As much as I knew that I was loved and accepted before, it was a formal end to formal beginning.

First Congregational Church of Greeley, United Church of Christ, thank you. Thank you for spending six long years, putting the pieces back together and healing my hurt. You are my family. And you inspire me in so many ways. 

Traditions.

I have a long-standing New Year's Eve tradition. Every year on NYE, I write. About the last year... About what it's been, what's happened and what it's meant. And since we're having friends over this year, I'm writing earlier in the evening than usual. I think the tradition started out of sheer need to keep myself awake for the two hours between bedtime (10pm) and the new year. And I've stuck to it ever since. So this year, even though it's only 7pm, I'm taking a few minutes to reflect.

I can't believe what a year it's been! I started doing sales for my family, traveled to sales meetings, took the youth from our church on a number of activities and outings, asked for and was given in-discernment status with my church and association, competed for a second year with my chorus, squeezed in a few quick trips to see friends, began a new relationship, joined the Spiritual Growth mission group and church Cabinet... I can't even count all the things I did!

But perhaps the most important thing I did this year was start school. In January, I finally started my undergrad. Settling back into the swing of school proved more difficult than I had originally thought. And taking classes online proved a challenge greater than I had expected. But I got through my first few online classes at Front Range. In the fall, I transferred to Aims and decided to give traditional classes a chance. I discovered that I'm really much, much better at those! I'm enjoying classes and excited to move on to another great semester.

Every year, in the beginning of the year, I pick a word or phrase that I choose to focus on through the year. This year, my phrase was "In everything: Grace, Mercy and Love." More than once, I was faced with situations where I had to choose grace, mercy and love. And although I failed often, I feel like I'm coming out on this end of the year with a greater understanding of how I can treat those around me with grace, mercy and love.

I can't believe the new friends I've made this year, too! There are so many of you that I can't even begin to name you each. I know I'll forget some! Your new friendships (and the friendships of your spouses and families) have been gigantic blessings this year! It has really been a year of new beginnings, and each of you is part of that.

And finally, this year has been especially important in my faith journey. So many of the friends I've met have blessed me with new perspectives and understandings of a God that is greater than we are. The faith of my friends (Christian and non-Christian alike) astounds me every single day. I have taken communion in a room where ages spanned more than 100 years and learned more from the children I get to see each week than I can fathom teaching them. I have continued to learn to "Be Still" (and even got a tattoo to remind myself!) in some of  my most frustrating moments and have found tools that help me to re-focus and center myself when I need to. I'm nowhere near where I hope I'll one day be, but 2013 sure has been an incredible year of growth for my faith.

So as I look forward to the new year that comes in just a few hours, I can only hope that the opportunities I've had, the friendships I've made and the transformations in my life over the past year will carry forward into 2014.

To 2014. Cheers! 

I'm Thankful. Now what?

Happy Thanksgiving! I know the story of the pilgrims and the Native Americans that is the "origination" of Thanksgiving, but I can't quite figure out how it's turned into one day a year where we eat a gigantic meal, sit around and list off the things we're thankful for and watch some football. I somehow think that the whole concept of "the first Thanksgiving" got a little warped and twisted in there.

I hear that Rev. Ben gave an awesome sermon on Sunday (which I didn't hear, since I was teaching) about what we do with our thankfulness. I can't tell you what all he said, since I wasn't there, but I'm going to venture out on a limb and say that he likely pushed people to do more than give thanks.

Giving thanks isn't enough. You can be thankful, but it's what you do with your thanks that matters. Thankfulness is an attitude, but for attitudes to mean much, there must also be an application. So what do you do or how do you act, because you're thankful. Really, there are only four things I need to list that covers them all...

1. My family. We may not always get along, but they love me, unconditionally. The love they have taught me is the love I bring to the table with others.
2. My friends. They are my rocks, my strength and my sanity. They push me to be a better person every single day. Because they keep me going, I can healthily and happily serve others.
3. My job. I love what I do. I get to work with the most awesome stylists, salon owners, receptionists and students in the world. And I couldn't ask for a better team of coworkers (who are also my friends). Every day, we get to help people feel great about the way they look while putting food on our tables. I live for the moments where I get to see a smile on the face of someone who feels just a little more confident.
4. My faith community. I seriously have the most incredible faith community surrounding me. It's not just the community within my local church, but also the extended community - other clergy, lay leaders, scholars and seminary students I've met along the way. They continue to challenge me, push me, support me and encourage me through my faith journey. Because of them, I am made a better, more thoughtful and more compassionate person every single day. The faith that they continue to feed is the faith that continues to feed my ministry and my call. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Bless you and may you be a blessing. 

The Lens

This week, a couple of times I have had some really interesting conversations about removing our experiences from our faith to be able to share our faith with others. I still stand by what I've said: that you cannot remove experience from faith because our experiences are the lens through which we view our faith. Let me see if I can muddle these thoughts from my head into some sort of sense in black and white...

First of all, I should start with the fact that I don't think you can truly share your faith in a way that can be meaningful outside of relationship with another person. I won't knock on the door of a stranger and ask them to listen to me talk about this incredible God that I love. Sharing faith is meaningful when people are curious - curious about the God I follow or curious about the life I live. I'll continue to say I'm not a shove-my-God-down-your-throat kind of girl and I mean it. With all my heart.

So, when in relationship with others, if it comes up or if you ask me about it, I share my experience. It's not good enough to say I believe in the Christian God and leave it at that. In these conversations, there's an important why. And that why... It is the lens through which I view what I believe.

All the things I have experienced in my life - the joy, the peace, the heartache, the brokenness, the love - play into my experience of God. And as all of those things have happened, they have shaped the way I have come to understand who and what God is and how awesome her love and peace and divine presence is. So to remove those experiences of God from my faith, I remove the understanding of God I have formed and will continue to form.

Without those experiences, God is just a word... No meaning, no weight, no implications. But through my experiences of God, I have formed a deep, rich and meaningful faith. And I can share that with others. If I don't share with you my experience of God, I can't share anything about God, other than the word. So yes. My experience of God is the lens through which I view my faith. And if I remove that lens, I have nothing to share...

It Gets Better.

Today is National Coming Out Day. I’ve been so inspired by the stories people have shared on social media sites today… Your stories are incredible! The thing that always amazes me about the GLBT community is our strength, determination and ability to persevere. So many in our community face so many forms of hate, but we are resilient!

Here is my story.

There wasn’t a particular moment or time when I suddenly knew that I was lesbian. Growing up, I could be a little bit of a tomboy, but I was also the only girl in my family. I knew that I didn’t see guys the same way my girl friends did in elementary school, but it wasn’t really an issue. As my middle school classmates began to couple up, I was single and had no interest in having a boyfriend.

When I finally realized I was lesbian and really had a name for it, there was a lot of fighting with myself to do. I was angry. I was angry that this happened to me and angry that I couldn’t seem to fix it. I hated myself for who I was, hated God for messing me up in this way and hated the world for making it difficult. I was a good Christian girl. I went to church, I prayed, I read my Bible… Why was this happening to me? And why could I not fix this? Why couldn’t it go away?

I think one of the hardest things about being gay is the fact that you have to come out your entire life. You can come out to friends and family, but every time you meet someone new or re-connect with someone from your past, you have to come out to them. You come out and come out and come out. Your whole life.

So I came out. I came out to my close friends first, then a cousin, then my larger circle of friends. I was careful to stay closeted around most of my family, all of my church and a few friends I thought wouldn’t handle it well. It was great! Being out to so many people was so freeing!

But then my warm, secure walls fell down around me. I was outed. I was outed to my parents. I didn’t get to come out. Someone found my MySpace, emailed it to my pastor and my pastor emailed it to my mother. It was devastating. We didn’t say much, but it was absolutely devastating. I had no control over my sexuality, but I had complete control over who knew about it. Until that moment.

But you know what? The world didn’t end. No, it wasn’t easy. Yes, it felt terrible. I was violated, stripped of my right to choose when to come out and betrayed. No, things weren’t sunshine and roses between my parents and I. But even so, I survived. I have survived the last seven years. I have even enjoyed the last seven years!

I've found a faith community that openly welcomes and affirms the GLBT community, I've watched my family move from denial to acceptance, I've loved... The moral of the story? Come out. But come out in your own way and your own terms in your own time. And know that even though there may be times when seems like happiness will never come, it gets better. 

Follow this link to visit the It Gets Better Project, a collection of inspiring stories for GLBT people.

Follow this link to visit The Trevor Project, a 24-hour suicide and crisis resource hotline for LGBTQ people ages 12-24.

I Wonder

My goodness! There are so many things I’ve wanted to write about, but life is so busy that it seems like there’s no time to write about any of them!

Today was Bible Sunday at our church. Each year, we give our preschoolers and 3^rd graders new Bibles. This year, we gave all of our younger kids (infants-preschool) a Bible, all of our Preschoolers and Kindergarteners a Bible, all of our 3^rd graders a Bible and all of the kids who hadn’t already received a Bible their age-appropriate Bibles. We gave out all kinds of Bibles today!

Ben had asked me help hand them out to each child, one by one. How cool it was to present some of our kids with their very first Bible! And it was SO incredible to see their reactions and excitement for their new book!

When I interviewed with our church Cabinet for in-discernment status, I was asked one theological question: “How do you view the Bible?” This morning, as I taught the Bible Sunday lesson to my preschoolers and kindergarteners, I thought that the lesson summed it up quite nicely. I adapted the original story for my kids and am adapting it even more for the blog. But loosely, it goes something like this:

“The Bible is a gift from God! It is full of the stories of God and the stories of the people of God! It was written for us by the people of God to help us understand the best ways to love God and the best ways to love others. The Bible can serve as a history book, telling about what others have done or as a roadmap, showing us what ways we should choose. But the stories of the people of God are a sacred (set apart) gift from God. They are ours. No one can take them from us. Our Bibles help us to tell the stories of God, but the stories also live in our hearts.”

At the end of all of our lessons, we ask the “I Wonder” questions. Today, it was “I wonder what your favorite Bible story is?” My kids’ answers? Jonah and the Whale, Advent, Creation, The Parable of the Good Samaritan…

It’s so cool to have to ask our kids to put away their Bibles for a few minutes during the story time. And incredibly humbling to watch them choose reading stories in their new Bibles as one of their activities during response time.

If I were teaching this lesson to adults, my last question would be “I wonder when we stopped getting so excited to read the stories of God?”